April 14, 2011
Do you ever get that feeling running through your veins where you know you're so in love it almost hurts? The funny thing about that feeling is that it can be ripped away from you just as fast as you feel it. "I feel it to he says" and you're in heaven. Knowing that the two years you've put in and the year of living together have all been worth it. Cleaning up after him like a toddler and making sure he knows where and when he needs to be. Helping him grow, helping him succeed, and helping him realize how truly amazing he is. You feel blessed. I love that feeling. It usually happens when le beau climbs into bed next to me. On the nights he doesn't ring out with condescending "ohhh Molly..." on the nights where he can be tender and lovable, on the nights where I feel like just maybe he's starting to turn into the romantic I've dreamed of. It's that feeling of New Year's Eve we hype it up so much and in the end, we are let down by the confetti and tears. Do I do that in my relationships? Do I listen to what they say. To focus on me, because I can't fix another's problems. Is there even enough proof of love to keep us together. I've spent the day with "Actions speak louder than words" running round and round in my head.
I realize I have what so many people dreams of. Adam and I are the couple laughing our heads off, alone, in the corner of a bar. We're the ones driving with the windows down, singing at every stoplight and stopping on the red lights for a kiss. I'm loud and outgoing, he mumbles and is still unsure of himself. He wears Jack Purcell's and there is nothing I love more on a man. We hold hands, he kisses me in front of his friends, he is vulnerable, and we all have traits that aren't perfect. I'm overprotective and often suspicious for no reason (except for the fact that all my previous boyfriends were cheaters). I trust him, but still want to go through his phone and computer. Usually I never find a thing - today I did - an issue we talked about 6 months ago. I thought said issue was solved, and it's not. I need help. I need guidance. I need the strength to get through this. He's my soul mate. 100%.
WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? IS HONESTY TOO MUCH TO ASK IN A RELATIONSHIP? OR DO YOU THINK THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SKELETONS IN ONE'S CLOSET?